This is the last week of Pride month, where we celebrate our right to choose our romantic partner and recognizing that we fall in love, not with a gender, but with a person.
I chose it as the theme of the week, also because being proud is something that concerns all of usl. Pride counts as one of the seven deadly sins. Is it really though?
Research shows that pride can be a source of motivation. Wouldn’t you also say that your own pride in some ways upholds your standards? Your pride is a stop lock, a security latch, if you will, that prevents you from stooping too low.
Being proud has gotten a bad rap. It’s being confused with hubris, which yes, we could consider a sin. Hubris manifests itself as excessive self-confidence, arrogance and an inflated ego. Without judgement, we can consider all those things a form of ignorance – of which we won’t want to take part.
I remember discovering a place in my life where I was not proud. It was back in my days as a music student in Los Angeles. My cousin came to visit and remarked that my nuked rice with a bit of curry sprinkled on top did not constitute a meal. Later, my husband caught me in that same low-level feeding of myself when we first met. Being French, good food equals religion, and seeing me (again) nuke broccoli and then spray it with ¨I Can’t Believe It’s Butter¨-spray and calling that my lunch – he was appalled! He made me throw out the 3 bottles in my fridge and bought real butter.
Since then, I make beautiful meals for myself, even when I dine alone. Why? As a matter of pride. In my health, in my body, in who I am to myself and others. Not to mention, feeling worthy enough to enjoy my food every meal.
What you have in your life is a direct reflection of what you think you deserve.
If what you are doing and what you have does not make you proud, maybe it’s time to rethink your priorities and strategies in life. Best practices – put on repeat in your calendar to do quarterly:
- Take stock of what you’re proud of in life
- Take stock of what you’re not proud of
- Write it all down
- Take 3 actions to remedy where you’re not proud
- Tell me about it!
Being proud of yourself, and becoming aware where pride is lacking, is often what drives us to change our behavior. Also be aware that your lack of pride can slip into shame. When we feel shame, we go into hiding. Feeling shameful and in hiding is lonely and a definite cause of suffering. Take those feelings as a cue to take action.
Some good books on healthy pride:
¨Pride: The Secret of Success¨, by
Jessica Tracy, Psychologist at British Columbia University
¨Gay is Good¨, by Franklin Kameny
¨The Power of Your Subconscious Mind¨, by Joseph Murphy, Ph.
PS. Schedule a free call with me and I will help you if you get stuck,
xoxo, Coach Jo