Once in high school, a particularly moody teenage schoolmate walked up to me and said (referring to me), ¨No one can possibly be that happy all the time. ¨ My heart dropped. Was I doing something wrong? Was a sunny disposition a flaw? Strange thing was, I didn’t see myself as happy. On the contrary, I felt a lot of pain, insecurities and negativity, like perhaps any teenager, but definitely not happy – and definitely not happy all the time.
Still, I’ve gotten that comment a lot in my life. That I seem happy. Super positive. Here’s something that only those that know me really well know: I’ve worked hard for my happiness. I respond to those commenting on my apparent happiness with this, ¨The brighter you shine, the darker you can go … ¨ – in that there’s an equal counterpart to everything good.
That steady happiness, freedom and joy is at the heart of the work I do.
It used to be that when my ¨darkness¨ set in, I let it take me. It was a bottomless hole that I let myself sink ever deeper into. It also used to take a long time to get out of that hole. I’m very grateful for the support I’ve had from those around me, but I also felt helpless. Like I depended on others to get me happy. So, I started to investigate how I could build myself a toolkit for having that baseline of happiness (that others thought I already had but really didn’t.) Now that I have it, I dip in and look what tool I can use when life gets dark.
Can you imagine what life would look like if you could get off the rollercoaster of dark emotions? If they stopped ruling your mood? And ruining your day-to-day happiness? So, you had more energy to care about the things at hand, the things that you love and care about? Rather than ruminating? Sulking in your head over something that happened or didn’t happen the way you wanted it to?
I work hard to provide fresh and valuable insight into what brings true happiness and fulfillment in life. I also test it on myself first. This is what I mean when I say that I’ve worked hard for my happiness. When I’m unhappy, I won’t let myself stay that way, but do whatever I must to get myself out in a truthful and authentic way. It’s turned into an area of responsibility that I have – for the sake of my family, you guys, and ultimately myself, I can’t afford staying ¨down¨ for too long. There’s a planet to save, people – on many levels…! We’ve got to get ourselves straight as fast as we can when we’re off our game.
If you struggle with your mood, believing in yourself and your dreams, dark times that just have their way with you, or even feeling overwhelmed what you know you should do to get happy but you’re not happy enough to do it! — this one’s for you:
- You’ll never stay happy – it’s not a steady state – you keep re-generating it – you
- The key to living a happy life isn’t getting rid of struggles, it’s finding problems big enough to be unhappy over – like not having figured out how to solve world hunger yet!
- Indifference isn’t the same as having a steady, peaceful mind …
- How becoming an important and life-changing presence for people is a key ingredient to your happiness
- And so much more …
Once you’ve had a chance to ponder these points in your own life, I urge you to join us in the comments in iFix, because your insights could have you be that life-changing presence for someone else.
I’d love to know:
1. What’s one specific thing in your business or your life that would improve if you were happier on a more consistent basis?
2. What’s one specific thing that you should drop in life or business that would immediately increase your happiness level?
Leave a comment below and let me know.
No matter how great your life is, you’re always going to encounter pain and struggle. The question is, how are you going to respond? And what are you going to do about getting happy?
With all my love,
PS. If you have friends, clients or colleagues who just don’t seem to be able to get themselves happy, forward this to them. They’ll thank you for caring, and you just increased your own happiness level but by making a difference for another.