April 12, 2021 Jo

Your Coach is Not Your Friend

A few years ago, before coaching really made it into the mainstream, I told a relative of mine what I do for a living and they said: “That’s what we have friends for.”

I was trying to be gracious about it because I was wondering how many times do you want to go back to your friends with the same problem and them not being a professional, them feeling helpless because they cannot provide a solution. That’s the whole point with coaching; it is the ability to feel free and guilt-free about bringing all your crazy stuff to someone who has experience of solving such issues.

I use coaches for everything. I mean it. Whenever I find an area in my life I want to improve, I get a coach for it. The reason? I want to get the best person to teach me what I need to learn. I need my own cheerleader, mentor, big brother/sister and teacher all in one. Furthermore, I am that person to others when I do my coaching.

I have a very specific angle of leadership – to be a leader in all aspects of your life. And what does that mean? And how do you step that up in the areas of your life without breaking yourself?

The Truth About Leaders and Advisors

All true leaders have advisors.  That advisory is important for so many reasons. It’s important to know; how someone has spent an entire lifetime, their career learning something that you haven’t and they will now give it to you like a gift. How amazing – you get to live several lifetimes in one fell swoop and then also having an objective eye, someone from the outside being able to look in and observe things that you’re highly subjective about, whatever product
or service you provide. If you’ve been doing it for a while, if it’s dear to your heart, which I certainly hope it is, then you cannot be objective. There is no way.

The coach might tell you some hard truths, to say that ¨this aspect of service or business you should really let go of … and if you’re a good coachee, you should really listen if they’re a good coach, right?
Better than that, a coach offers impartial support.
This is why a coach or a mentor is different than a friend because your friend, they love you,
but they’re not impartial and also sometimes if you can find someone that, let’s say, you don’t know as well as you know closest friends, maybe they have an agenda.

What Will The Coach Do For You?

I might teach or coach on what seems like an esoteric subject leadership, but I provide step-by-step tools.
I always want to know what the gross revenue is.
I want to see how the sales are doing.
I want the balance sheet because I will not take money from someone and not replenish it.
In other words, people should not be out of money in the end for hiring a coach.
Not if the coach is good. You will have made more money – same thing with someone that works for you, really. They shouldn’t be costing your money. They should be making the company money. So don’t shy away from getting the advisory you need and it’s not a sign of weakness and it’s not a sign that you can’t do it. You probably can and that’s your problem, that you’re doing it all yourself or doing too many things yourself.

Most of the time when I get a new task or something, a big thing on my plate I quickly look to see who can provide expert advice or who can actually execute for me, because it’s just one of you and you need all the help you can get if you’re going to fulfil on a big dream and for goodness sake – don’t have a small one.