November 9, 2020 Jo

I HATE Selling Myself! What to Do?

“You need to SELL YOURSELF”. How many times have you heard that and shuddered? The mere thought of standing in front of another person and telling them how great you are is enough to give anyone knots in their stomach. Because it’s not a very natural thing to do, and you might be scared to come off as desperate and awkward if you’re naturally a humble person.

But just like with anything else, the more you do it, the better it gets. In the meantime, I thought I’d share a hack with you. Think of it like this: You are not selling yourself. You are making a friend. You are in the early stages of developing a beautiful friendship. So you are not playing a game or negotiating business, you are simply the best version of you. And as it happens, this new friend needs something that you’ve got. Things can only go well from here! Thinking about it like this will likely lower your nervousness. Everyone loves making new friends, right?

You’re not selling yourself! You’re making friends!

 

A true connection

I remember when I became friends with someone who is now one of my closest. We had met through a shared interest and she seemed cool, so I suggested we’d go for coffee. On the day of our coffee date, I checked myself in the mirror one extra time before I went out. I didn’t obsess about my looks as if it were a “date date”, but I still wanted my exterior to match my interior, first impressions and all.

At the cafe, I was upbeat, fun, attentive and interested in what she had to say. I didn’t shower her with information about myself, I didn’t go out of my way trying to convince her to be my friend, it happened naturally. In the early stages, I made sure that the information I shared about myself was limited but enticing. In subsequent meetings we gradually built trust by sharing more information, keeping promises and respecting each others’ boundaries.

I can’t stress this enough – forming relationships will seal deals, acting weird in tie won’t. It’s worth repeating: People make deals with people they like and trust. So go out and make that friend!

 

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