Why are people so miserable…?
A client and dear friend whom I’m currently having read Tolle’s ¨Power of Now¨, commented on ¨the chase¨. We chase and seek happiness and when we don’t find it, we become unhappy. Some become so unhappy that they take their own lives. It is very hard to accept a difficult life situation – although it is the only way out. My client liked this quote from the book:
“You are still seeking outside, and you cannot get out of the seeking mode. Maybe the next workshop will have the answer, maybe that new technique. To you I would say: Don’t look for peace. Don’t look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.”
I get the blank stare the first time I tell a client there is nothing out there. Nothing. There is nothing out there that will make you happy for longer than a minute. What we chase and think is happiness is mere entertainment. The only lasting happiness there is we cannot acquire somehow. It is a gift and it comes to us. Much like we can’t make a plant grow but we nurture it, peace and joy comes if we be still and listen.
At the lowest points in my life, I wish I had known not to try so hard to get out of my unhappy spot. That I would’ve let it take as long as it needed to take to pass. Because the unhappiness did pass. Of course it did. Unhappiness only famously lives in regrets of the past and fears of the future. In the moment, there is no problem. Really – go up against me here – where is the problem…?