…the entrepreneurs….the wild, crazy thinkers…
Though the meat of this article will cover methods and strategies you can utilize to increase your online reach, I want to start by having you ask yourself a few simple questions on which every marketing/advertising campaign should be built…
¨The theme of the day is Sīla which means virtue, morality, or proper conduct. To start out the day, I want to emphasize that the kind of morality we’re talking about is not the fake kind….
…where the focus is on right and wrong, or what it all looks like to the neighbors. It’s about being real and raw and keeping close to yourself. It’s about saying what you mean and meaning what you say. It’s about not saying one thing and doing another….
One of the best books that I can think of on this subject is Pema Chödron’s
¨Coming Closer to Ourselves¨. The only measuring stick for how you’re doing is the one you hold up against yourself. ¨
– Coach Jo
I haven’t had many bosses in my life. Maybe three…? Being an entrepreneur most of my life has pretty much ruined my prospects for every working for anyone, unless they’re fine with someone who questions authority, decisions, and the direction of the company, in essence – a highly opinionated, hard-to-steer employee.
One of those three bosses I had called me a diva. These days that may have called for an outcry and be called harassment. ¨How’s my diva doing today? ¨ …but the thing is, she was right. I was a diva. I still am. And the other thing is, I’m proud of it. Being a diva has taught me how to value my time and my worth. The boss used to make fun of me that I ¨would like to only work 4 hours a day¨. Have you ever heard of the bestseller ¨The 4-hour workWEEK¨?
I work lazy and smart.
I don’t ¨do it myself because it’s faster that way¨.
I build relationships, not tasks lists.
I get proper rest and nutrition.
I like things ¨just so¨.
Yup, I look for where the magic is peeking through, for when a situation, a food dish, or a person’s essence – shines through.
Am I a diva? Absolutely.
#TBT – Here’s a role I was cast in at La MaMa Theatre, directed by Andre De Shields (the original Wizard of Oz on Broadway) in New York City in the 90’s – an operatic diva, singing ¨The Shining City on the Hill¨.
You ever wrap your day and ask yourself, ¨What did I actually get done today…? Did I produce – anything? ¨
I used to be scattered – SO scattered- to the point of my old roommate when watching me scurry said, ¨You’d think you ran IBM. ¨ …
And a client of mine (who is a medicated ADHD), said to me, ¨You definitely have ADHD. I live with it. I know it when I see it. ¨ I don’t know if he was right – but I DO know you get very little done by bopping about and not really getting anything out of your hands!
I give all my clients something I call The Big 3’s…If you give me your LONG list of what you want to do, but are not sure about in 2018, I can tell you what your Top 3 should be. How can I do that? I can, because humans follow predictable behaviour. As unique as we all think we are, your goals are likely to fulfil certain criteria:
- They fill your heart
- They make you money
- They contribute to the well-being of all, in some way
- The upgrade some area of your life, whether it be fitness or your environment or your relationships
- They are connected, to a lesser or larger extent, to your life’s purpose
- They take care of a fundamental need that has gone unfulfilled or ignored…
Another common human characteristic is to write out goals and wishes based on what someone will physically do and materially get – versus looking to:
- deal with their past and move on
- get over their biggest fears to do what they want
- detect and eradicate different types of self-deception
- stop using food, alcohol and people in the wrong way
- become financially solvent
If you look there, all your wishes for this year are likely to come through!
BUT – you’ve got to start somewhere…
Why don’t you respond right back with your 2018 list of wishes, dreams and goals – I will shoot back your Top 3…!
Entrepreneurs, speakers, coaches – they all know that writing a book is the ticket. In fact, it’s almost a prerequisite for being taken seriously and for anyone to put you on their speakers’ roster. Even if no one ever reads your book – that’s not even the point. It’s almost like a college degree. No one really cares what subject you majored in, they only care that you graduated, which means you can commit and that you’re a Finisher.
Here’s my embarrassing confession. I wrote a book and haven’t shown it to anybody. It’s sitting there and I’ve been ¨waiting for the right time to release it¨. Not only is it that book, I have started others – countless others – and never finished them.
Why am I telling you this? Because by telling I’m committing. 2018 is here. This year I will finish the book. A book. ANY book. My dad has been my co-criminal in starting and not finishing a few books we’ve begun together, with me being more of the criminal than him. He’s sort of been waiting for me to pull the trigger for real. Before New Year’s I crept to the cross with him and said, ¨Let’s do this. Let’s write the d-n book already.¨
The working title is ¨Karma in The Company Culture¨. Hopefully the title reveals what we’re tackling, but basically it’s all the organizational scandals that keep getting revealed, all based on poor ethics as well as lack of creating, and adhering to, values. Dad, as a web-journalist will present data findings and analysis, whereas I’ll provide case studies from my 25 years as an executive coach. During my tenure, I’ve coached countless executives and high performers who’ve been on the brink of disaster because they wouldn’t give up the lyin’, cheatin’, stealin’. Their immoral behaviour has been founded upon the fact that that somewhere up the power ladder, they’ve lost their sense of vulnerability and connection to regular folks and have become, to themselves, invincible. Surprisingly, it takes neither a lot of additional power nor money to thwart people’s heads.
This is what we’re doing. Comments and feedback along the way will be most welcome and highly appreciated.
To sum it all up, I’ll treat you to a few #tbt pictures of dad and I in London in 1999. Anybody catching what I used to sport on my upper arm…J? I really did think I was all that and more, speaking of an inflated sense of self.
Thank you for reading, thank you for listening, thank you for being you – and Happy New Year! What good confessions do you have to share…?
¨Listening, ¨ Erich Fromm – the great thinker, therapist and writer said, “is an art like the understanding of poetry” and, like any art, has its own rules and norms. These are his six such guidelines for mastering the art of truly understanding another human being. In the era of #metoo #trump #blacklivesmatter, his words are more poignant than ever…
- The basic rule for practicing this art is the complete concentration of the listener.
- Nothing of importance must be on his mind, he must be optimally free from anxiety as well as from greed.
- He must possess a freely-working imagination which is sufficiently concrete to be expressed in words.
- He must be endowed with a capacity for empathy with another person and strong enough to feel the experience of the other as if it were his own.
- The condition for such empathy is a crucial facet of the capacity for love. To understand another means to love him — not in the erotic sense but in the sense of reaching out to him and of overcoming the fear of losing oneself.
- Understanding and loving are inseparable. If they are separate, it is a cerebral process and the door to essential understanding remains closed.
This summit is for you who feel:
- Stuck in y0ur day job
- Have a dream to create something that is truly yours
- Work with what you are passionate about every day
Don’t miss it – sign up – it’s launching today!
Can’t wait to have you!
Editor’s note: Make sure to sign up for the Work Your Passion summit if you answered yes to the question in the title! Also, to contact Homaira, the author of this piece, see her information at the bottom.
Are you one of the 70% of employees who feels disengaged at work? Or part of the millions for whom work-related stress has become the source of ill health, anxiety and even depression. Which begs the question: Why are so many of us struggling?
The reason may lie in the fact that we’re still operating in a system that was established for the Industrial Economy. We clocked in the hours every day at work so we could enjoy ‘life’ in the evenings.
Today, that’s no longer the case. Thanks to technology, work has become a constant companion. It joins us on the way back home every evening. It packs itself in for each and every vacation. And it even crawls into bed with us and haunts us in the silence of the night.
Work life balance has become a myth at best. We’re squeezed dry and have nothing left to give. And since working life continues well into our sixties, we feel the doom and gloom of a life of perpetual misery.
But wait! We can change the way we relate to work by understanding what work means in the 21st century. We live in an age of increasing consciousness, or what entrepreneur Aaron Hurst calls the Purpose Economy. We’re rapidly advancing to what Harvard professor Robert Kegan calls the 4th stage of adult development – that of the self-authoring mind. We want to be the authors of our own lives and often it takes a little more than desire to get there.
Here are a few tips that will help!
Get to Know Your Passions
Many of us don’t know what truly brings us alive. It may be because we’ve left our passions to shrivel on the back burner. Or it may be because we were told very early on that our dreams weren’t worth much by those who didn’t have the capacity to honor them. Go back and dig them out again. What were the things that excited you when you were little? What are the things that you naturally gravitate towards now? Believe in them, experiment with them, and then ask yourself: Who can benefit from this passion of mine?
Develop a Plan
Once you’ve identified a passion, don’t rush to hand in your resignation the very next day! And there are many reasons for this. One, it may take you many months to be clear on the passion you want to pursue. Secondly, studies show that some of the most successful people wait on their best ideas before rushing to implement them. And finally, no business makes money on day one, and yours won’t likely be the first! Make a 5-year plan. By when will your business be financially feasible? And how will you support yourself and perhaps your family until then?
Focus on Giving
Always stay connected to why you started your business in the first place. Keep your passion alive by focusing on the value it brings to the people in your ‘tribe’ and the difference it makes to their lives. Get to know them as best you can so you’re always addressing their needs. Because as humans, we’re wired for reciprocity. If you offer value, people will pay you for it. If you don’t, you won’t fool anyone for very long. Trust in trust. It’s part of our inherent nature, and there’s no force that can change that!
When you’re starting out your own business, self-doubt will raise its head over and over again. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing since its job is to protect you from potentially detrimental decisions. However, given that we tend to focus on the negative, self-doubt has to be managed. You can do so by listening to it when it shows up, recognizing it for what it is, challenging the likelihood of the impending catastrophe, and then calming yourself with an outcome that’s not only far more likely, but also far more exciting.
Have a Support System
We are social animals. And even though we’ve become used to taking all the glory of our successes in the individualized societies we live in, we cannot get very far without the support of others. Studies show that human connection calms us in times of emotional pain, it helps us expand our repertoire of ideas and possibilities, and it’s also our source of meaning and fulfillment in life. So identify the people who can help you in your entrepreneurial journey. Who will be your guides, your mentors, your cheerleaders, your emotional support?
The good news is that when you honor your passions and live a life that’s true to who you are, people are drawn to you and willing to reward you in plenty for sharing your gifts with the world.
Homaira Kabir is a recognized positive psychology coach (http://www.homairakabir.com) and a researcher on women’s self-esteem. Check out her Confidence Academy (http://www.homairakabir.com) for free resources on building authentic self-worth.