I haven’t had many bosses in my life. Maybe three…? Being an entrepreneur most of my life has pretty much ruined my prospects for every working for anyone, unless they’re fine with someone who questions authority, decisions, and the direction of the company, in essence – a highly opinionated, hard-to-steer employee.
One of those three bosses I had called me a diva. These days that may have called for an outcry and be called harassment. ¨How’s my diva doing today? ¨ …but the thing is, she was right. I was a diva. I still am. And the other thing is, I’m proud of it. Being a diva has taught me how to value my time and my worth. The boss used to make fun of me that I ¨would like to only work 4 hours a day¨. Have you ever heard of the bestseller ¨The 4-hour workWEEK¨?
I work lazy and smart.
I don’t ¨do it myself because it’s faster that way¨.
I build relationships, not tasks lists.
I get proper rest and nutrition.
I like things ¨just so¨.
Yup, I look for where the magic is peeking through, for when a situation, a food dish, or a person’s essence – shines through.
Am I a diva? Absolutely.
#TBT – Here’s a role I was cast in at La MaMa Theatre, directed by Andre De Shields (the original Wizard of Oz on Broadway) in New York City in the 90’s – an operatic diva, singing ¨The Shining City on the Hill¨.
You ever wrap your day and ask yourself, ¨What did I actually get done today…? Did I produce – anything? ¨
I used to be scattered – SO scattered- to the point of my old roommate when watching me scurry said, ¨You’d think you ran IBM. ¨ …
And a client of mine (who is a medicated ADHD), said to me, ¨You definitely have ADHD. I live with it. I know it when I see it. ¨ I don’t know if he was right – but I DO know you get very little done by bopping about and not really getting anything out of your hands!
I give all my clients something I call The Big 3’s…If you give me your LONG list of what you want to do, but are not sure about in 2018, I can tell you what your Top 3 should be. How can I do that? I can, because humans follow predictable behaviour. As unique as we all think we are, your goals are likely to fulfil certain criteria:
- They fill your heart
- They make you money
- They contribute to the well-being of all, in some way
- The upgrade some area of your life, whether it be fitness or your environment or your relationships
- They are connected, to a lesser or larger extent, to your life’s purpose
- They take care of a fundamental need that has gone unfulfilled or ignored…
Another common human characteristic is to write out goals and wishes based on what someone will physically do and materially get – versus looking to:
- deal with their past and move on
- get over their biggest fears to do what they want
- detect and eradicate different types of self-deception
- stop using food, alcohol and people in the wrong way
- become financially solvent
If you look there, all your wishes for this year are likely to come through!
BUT – you’ve got to start somewhere…
Why don’t you respond right back with your 2018 list of wishes, dreams and goals – I will shoot back your Top 3…!
Entrepreneurs, speakers, coaches – they all know that writing a book is the ticket. In fact, it’s almost a prerequisite for being taken seriously and for anyone to put you on their speakers’ roster. Even if no one ever reads your book – that’s not even the point. It’s almost like a college degree. No one really cares what subject you majored in, they only care that you graduated, which means you can commit and that you’re a Finisher.
Here’s my embarrassing confession. I wrote a book and haven’t shown it to anybody. It’s sitting there and I’ve been ¨waiting for the right time to release it¨. Not only is it that book, I have started others – countless others – and never finished them.
Why am I telling you this? Because by telling I’m committing. 2018 is here. This year I will finish the book. A book. ANY book. My dad has been my co-criminal in starting and not finishing a few books we’ve begun together, with me being more of the criminal than him. He’s sort of been waiting for me to pull the trigger for real. Before New Year’s I crept to the cross with him and said, ¨Let’s do this. Let’s write the d-n book already.¨
The working title is ¨Karma in The Company Culture¨. Hopefully the title reveals what we’re tackling, but basically it’s all the organizational scandals that keep getting revealed, all based on poor ethics as well as lack of creating, and adhering to, values. Dad, as a web-journalist will present data findings and analysis, whereas I’ll provide case studies from my 25 years as an executive coach. During my tenure, I’ve coached countless executives and high performers who’ve been on the brink of disaster because they wouldn’t give up the lyin’, cheatin’, stealin’. Their immoral behaviour has been founded upon the fact that that somewhere up the power ladder, they’ve lost their sense of vulnerability and connection to regular folks and have become, to themselves, invincible. Surprisingly, it takes neither a lot of additional power nor money to thwart people’s heads.
This is what we’re doing. Comments and feedback along the way will be most welcome and highly appreciated.
To sum it all up, I’ll treat you to a few #tbt pictures of dad and I in London in 1999. Anybody catching what I used to sport on my upper arm…J? I really did think I was all that and more, speaking of an inflated sense of self.
Thank you for reading, thank you for listening, thank you for being you – and Happy New Year! What good confessions do you have to share…?